Source: http://news.feedzilla.com/en_us/stories/politics/top-stories/302467808?client_source=feed&format=rss
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Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Coming to Grips With Marriage: "This is It??" | Relationships in ...
Many individuals and couples come into therapy with a similar relationship complaint: being married isn?t what they expected. More specifically, the reality of marriage is not aligned with their fantasies of marriage.
It?s nice to have fantasies. They give us goals, the drive to achieve, hope, desire, and more. However, when we expect that reality is going to match our fantasies, disappointment results when the picture we painted in our minds doesn?t come true. If our fantasies are unrealistic, even good, positively-functioning relationships can be experienced as bad, negative, and disappointing.
Jennifer and Todd (identities protected here) had been dating for three years and lived together for a year and a half before they got engaged. They were engaged for another year, and then were married. Two years after they were married, they entered couples therapy. Jennifer?s primary complaint was that marriage just wasn?t what she?d expected, and that nothing special happened after they got married. They went on with their daily lives, after getting married, and since they already were living together, nothing was really different.
Todd?s main complaint was that Jennifer didn?t do enough to make his life easier, as he imagined marriage would bring. Todd was more traditional in the idea that marriage meant that his wife would take care of household work, cooking, etc. Todd was becoming more and more frustrated as Jennifer ?nagged? him to help more, especially since Jennifer and Todd both work full time. In Todd?s fantasy, he was the one who would work while his wife would maintain the home.
It quickly became clear that an issue clouding their relationship was the fantasies they both had surrounding marriage. Regardless of their positively functioning relationship prior to being married, they?d both subconsciously expected that the marriage ceremony would create and carry a magical aura of happiness around them that would stay with them through their lives. There would be no negativity, and it would be exactly as they painted it in their minds.
These fantasies set the environment for disillusionment and disappointment. When negativity inevitably enters the picture, which may not have been part of the fantasy, the sense is that the relationship is failing. Something must be ?wrong? if the marriage isn?t meeting the fantasy at all times.
The reality is, relationships will have negativity at times. There may be mundane moments, and there may be times where you don?t want to be around each other at all. Part of any relationship (whether or not married) is learning to accept that things won?t always be exciting, positive, and romantic.
What keeps a relationship healthy is understanding that a relationship isn?t always positive, so the when negativity, or lack of positivity is present, that it doesn?t necessarily mean the wheels are coming off your relationship. In fact, it is very common for people to futilely jump from relationship to relationship (and marriage to marriage) trying to find the unrealistic fantasy whenever the reality starts to sway from it.
Now, this doesn?t mean that all relationships are good, or that a bad relationship automatically means you have an unrealistic fantasy. If you?re experiencing negativity more than positivity in your relationship, or if you?re overall unfulfilled in your relationship as a whole, then it?s something to look into, either with a therapist for yourself, or a couples therapist (it?s often helpful to be in both ? one for you and one for your relationship together). It?s important to be able to discern between a relationship that?s actually bad for you, versus a fantasy that?s bad for your relationship.
Through their work in couples therapy, Jennifer and Todd began to understand the internal issues that were plaguing their relationship (stemming from childhood and their relationship role models, and other influences). They also realized that their current relationship functions on a decent level, but both were disillusioned by the fact that the fantasy didn?t cone true when they got married.
Learning to except relationships as they are, and making relationships function according to our own efforts? isn?t as easy as it sounds. It?s ego-bruising to realize that we create fantasies in our lives that keep us from realistic happiness (not only in relationships). Some fantasies can come true, if they?re realistic, while others aren?t realistic (such as having a relationship free of all negativity and being exactly as fantasized).
Jennifer and Todd remain in couples therapy, now more accepting of each other and the positives?and negatives that surface at different times in their relationship. They are now working to create a realistic relationship dream that they can achieve together.
????Last reviewed: 29 Apr 2013
APA Reference
Anonymous. (2013). Coming to Grips With Marriage: ?This is It???. Psych Central. Retrieved on April 30, 2013, from http://blogs.psychcentral.com/relationships-balance/2013/04/29/coming-to-grips-with-marriage-this-is-it/
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How Developers Coded in 1985
Programmer John Graham-Cumming tells a fascinating story about what coding like was back in 1985. Unlike today's programmers who wear hoodies, down energy drinks and use a paper thin computer, programmers in 1985 had to code by hand... with actual paper.
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Source: http://feeds.gawker.com/~r/gizmodo/full/~3/cPizMNisgZA/how-developers-coded-in-1985-485041376
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LG will launch the world's first 55-inch curved OLED HDTV (update)
We heard that the curved OLED HDTV prototypes LG showed at CES would be coming soon, and now it's official. A Korean press release indicates we can expect the 55EA9800 to launch in the next month, with shipments starting in June. According to the specs, its 4.3mm depth results in a weight of just 17kg, probably thanks to a carbon-fiber reinforced frame. Like an IMAX theater screen, the edges are curved towards the viewer to provide a more immersive feeling. Given the fact that we're still waiting for LG's flat OLED TVs to see a wider release we doubt it will arrive on US shelves any time soon, but until then you can check out our in-person pics from CES below, and a video after the break.
Update: LG sent over the English press release, which confirms pre-orders start today at more than 1,400 retail locations with a price of 15 million Korean won ($13,500), a healthy bump over the standard version's $10K MSRP. Release dates and pricing for non-Korean markets are coming "in the months ahead," check after the break to read all the details first hand.
Filed under: Displays, Home Entertainment, HD, LG
Source: LG Korea
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Monday, April 29, 2013
In changing region, U.S. committed to military ties with Gulf Arabs
By William Maclean and David Alexander
DUBAI/WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Washington is signaling its military commitment to its Gulf Arab allies at a time of unfamiliar strain in their decades old partnership.
Syria's civil war and Iran's nuclear program have led to tensions, with Gulf Arab states willing a more assertive U.S. response to bring Iran to heel and force Syrian President Bashar al-Assad from power. Growing U.S. energy independence has further complicated a relationship founded on oil and defense.
Some Gulf Arab oil states had even begun to wonder if the alliance was anything more than the "practical marriage of convenience for a finite period of time" that Henry Kissinger, in a 2007 interview, saw in Washington's ties to Saudi Arabia.
Washington is moving to dismiss such doubts, indicating its military partnership with the ruling dynasties who sit on a third of the world's conventional oil reserves will remain deep-rooted, even if trimmed by budget cuts at home.
"The United States isn't going anywhere. The United States is firmly committed to the security of all our regional partners," said a senior official accompanying U.S. Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel in the Middle East last week. "We understand in a clear-eyed way what the threats are in the region."
Hagel began his week-long trip days after the Pentagon said it was finalizing a $10 billion arms deal that would strengthen the militaries of Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates, as well as that of Israel.
The agreement, more than a year in the making, would result in the sale of 25 F-16 Desert Falcon jets worth nearly $5 billion to the UAE. The UAE and Saudi Arabia also would be allowed to purchase weapons with so-called "stand-off" capabilities that enable them to engage the enemy with precision at a distance.
A few days before the trip, President Barack Obama welcomed to the White House Crown Prince Mohammed bin Zayed of the UAE, the largest U.S. export market in the Middle East.
In a joint statement they reaffirmed a shared commitment to "close defense and security cooperation, including joint training exercises, counterterrorism cooperation and the deployment of interoperable U.S. defense systems".
The deal, and Sheikh Mohammed's warm U.S. welcome, are the latest in a series of signals Washington is sending to the region of its undimmed resolve to support the ruling families, partners in Washington's confrontation with Iran.
OIL AND THE WORLD ECONOMY
The West's energy watchdog, the International Energy Agency, says it expects a continued fall in U.S. oil imports, with North America becoming a net oil exporter by around 2030 and the United States becoming almost self-sufficient in energy by 2035.
Some Gulf Arabs worry that a United States self reliant in oil might show less commitment to safeguarding the Strait of Hormuz, the world's main energy artery through which 40 percent of the world's sea-borne oil exports pass.
Ensuring global energy security is likely to remain an important part of U.S. strategy, said a U.S. official based in the Middle East. While U.S. purchases of Gulf Arab oil may be declining, global dependence is increasing. This fact engages American support, he said.
"Since the health of the U.S. economy is closely tied to the world's, there's every reason for Washington to help protect its allies here," said Les Janka, a former White House and Pentagon official who now heads a business consultancy in Riyadh.
When General Martin Dempsey, chairman of the U.S. Joint Chiefs, told the Center for Strategic and International Studies think tank on March 18 that he hoped America would achieve energy independence, he added: "But I can assure you that at least from a military perspective . . . you will find that the future will be a period of greater commitment."
Pressed to elaborate by UAE envoy Yousef Al Otaiba, Dempsey replied that that commitment should not be measured in terms of carrier battle groups but in terms of improved collaboration.
"We just have to figure out how to help you do more, so that we can do less, but that doesn't mean less well."
Energy is far from the only concern. A U.S. pivot to Asia, perceptions of U.S. economic decline and U.S. military withdrawals, first from Iraq and now from Afghanistan, have blurred Gulf Arabs' security landscape.
Fear of Arab Spring contagion, too, means that Gulf Arab authorities see future threats coming as much from internal sources as from the external ones that were the original premise for Western military support.
Shashank Joshi of Britain's Royal United Services Institution said Gulf Arab officials appeared acutely aware the internal threat they now faced "doesn't quite yoke the Americans in the same way" the external threats once did.
On Syria, Iran and Bahrain, arenas for a region-wide tussle for influence between Sunni and Shi'te powers, Washington's preference for dialogue appears weak to some Gulf Arabs.
"HERE TODAY, GONE TOMORROW"
In Bahrain, home of the U.S. Fifth Fleet and an important Western ally in keeping Hormuz open, a simmering revolt by its Shi'ite Muslim majority has prompted calls by some in Washington for U.S. ships to base elsewhere.
Echoing the view of many Western analysts, Dubai-based Robert Jordan, a former U.S. ambassador to Riyadh, said he was concerned about the message - "we're here today and gone tomorrow" - that a pullout would send. "Perception becomes reality in this part of the world," he said.
Gulf rulers are acutely aware they depend for their security on people who live thousands of miles away, who do not share their religion or lifestyle, and above all who sympathize with the democratic impulse at the origin of the Arab revolts.
In December a summit of the six-nation Gulf Cooperation Council announced plans to set up a unified military command to tighten defense cooperation.
GCC states are increasingly well-armed. Defense spending by GCC states rose about 9 percent to $74 billion last year, estimated Nicole Loeser, Middle East analyst at Forecast International. She predicts it will hit $86 billion in 2017.
Yet Gulf Arab states have faced a host of obstacles to military integration, including a lack of common equipment and their own reliance on bilateral accords with their U.S. ally.
Abdulkhaleq Abdullah, a political scientist in the United Arab Emirates, said confidence in America had dropped because of disagreements with Washington over Syria and dismay over its security failures in Iraq and Afghanistan.
But America remained indispensable. "We live in a very dangerous region, so ... our ties with America remain strong".
(Additional reporting by Phil Stewart in Washington and Mahmoud Habboush in Dubai; editing by Janet McBride)
Source: http://news.yahoo.com/changing-region-u-committed-military-ties-gulf-arabs-134213071.html
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Computer scientists suggest new spin on origins of evolvability
Monday, April 29, 2013
Scientists have long observed that species seem to have become increasingly capable of evolving in response to changes in the environment. But computer science researchers now say that the popular explanation of competition to survive in nature may not actually be necessary for evolvability to increase.
In a paper published this week in PLOS ONE, the researchers report that evolvability can increase over generations regardless of whether species are competing for food, habitat or other factors.
Using a simulated model they designed to mimic how organisms evolve, the researchers saw increasing evolvability even without competitive pressure.
"The explanation is that evolvable organisms separate themselves naturally from less evolvable organisms over time simply by becoming increasingly diverse," said Kenneth O. Stanley, an associate professor at the College of Engineering and Computer Science at the University of Central Florida. He co-wrote the paper about the study along with lead author Joel Lehman, a post-doctoral researcher at the University of Texas at Austin.
The finding could have implications for the origins of evolvability in many species.
"When new species appear in the future, they are most likely descendants of those that were evolvable in the past," Lehman said. "The result is that evolvable species accumulate over time even without selective pressure."
During the simulations, the team's simulated organisms became more evolvable without any pressure from other organisms out-competing them. The simulations were based on a conceptual algorithm.
"The algorithms used for the simulations are abstractly based on how organisms are evolved, but not on any particular real-life organism," explained Lehman.
The team's hypothesis is unique and is in contrast to most popular theories for why evolvability increases.
"An important implication of this result is that traditional selective and adaptive explanations for phenomena such as increasing evolvability deserve more scrutiny and may turn out unnecessary in some cases," Stanley said.
Stanley is an associate professor at UCF. He has a bachelor's of science in engineering from the University of Pennsylvania and a doctorate in computer science from the University of Texas at Austin. He serves on the editorial boards of several journals. He has over 70 publications in competitive venues and has secured grants worth more than $1 million. His works in artificial intelligence and evolutionary computation have been cited more than 4,000 times.
Lehman has a bachelor's degree in computer science from Ohio State University and a Ph.D. in computer science from UCF. He continues his research at the University of Texas at Austin and is teaching an undergraduate course in artificial intelligence.
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University of Central Florida: http://www.ucf.edu
Thanks to University of Central Florida for this article.
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Source: http://www.labspaces.net/127973/Computer_scientists_suggest_new_spin_on_origins_of_evolvability
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Egypt pulls out of talks to protest Middle East nuclear arms
CAIRO (Reuters) - Egypt said on Monday it was withdrawing from a second week of Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT) talks in Geneva in protest at what it called the failure to implement a 1995 resolution for a Middle East free of nuclear weapons.
That was an implicit reference to Israel which neither confirms nor denies having nuclear arms and is not a signatory to the NPT. Arab states and Iran say Israel's presumed nuclear arsenal poses a threat to Middle East peace and security.
Cairo said it was pulling out of the talks "to send a strong message of???? ????non-acceptance of the continued lack of seriousness in dealing with the establishment of a nuclear-free zone in the Middle East".
"We cannot continue waiting forever for the implementation of this resolution," Egypt's Foreign Ministry said in a statement carried by state news agency MENA. Cairo called on member states and international bodies "to bear responsibility for implementing legitimate international resolutions."
U.S. and Israeli officials have said a nuclear arms-free zone in the Middle East could not be a reality until there was broad Arab-Israeli peace and Iran curbed its nuclear program, which Tehran says is for peaceful energy and research purposes.
The two-week meeting in Geneva is to review progress in implementing the 1970 NPT, a treaty designed to prevent the spread of nuclear arms in the world.
In a speech on the first day of the NPT conference on April 22, former Egyptian Ambassador to Geneva Hisham Badr said "Egypt and many Arab countries have joined the NPT with the understanding that this would lead to a Middle East completely free of nuclear weapons.
"However, more than 30 years later, one country in the Middle East, namely Israel, remains outside the NPT," he said.
(Reporting by Shaimaa Fayed in Cairo and Stephanie Nebehay in Geneva; Editing by Jon Hemming)
Source: http://news.yahoo.com/egypt-pulls-talks-protest-middle-east-nuclear-arms-194455222.html
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